Learning the Social Customs of Denmark

Denmark is an egalitarian society, and the Danes are a modest people. Their language uses gender-neutral words. Most Danes do not show off their educational and professional accomplishments in front of others, and most people are more group-oriented.

In the work space, there are large maternity leave times for both men and women. Danish men are often more involved in the birthing process than are men in other countries. Danish women usually work, instead of being confined to domestic lives, and will expect to have equal payment, treatment and respect in the workplace. Mothers who work have an easy time arranging flexible hours with their careers so they can balance their careers with their families.

Families in Denmark are small and non extended. People often live in nuclear families. Children are brought up to be independent, which starts at an early age. Most children go to day care from the time they are a year old. Marriage is not a norm to starting a family. Many non married couples live together with their children, and this is commonly accepted.

Danes believe that people should act a proper way in social settings. Natives and foreigners are expected to speak in moderate tones, and not be obnoxious. People who call a lot of attention to themselves are looked down upon. Danes will openly tell people to act better if they are not being courteous.

In terms of meeting, Danes use a simple, firm handshake, with a smile and eye contact. It is common to shake hands first with women. You should shake hands with everyone individually when arriving or leaving a social setting. Danes usually introduce themselves with their first names.

If you are invited to a Danish house, you should bring a small present, such as flowers, or nice chocolates or wine. Flowers should be wrapped, and red is a good color for wrapping paper. You can send flowers in advance.

If you are going to a party, make sure to arrive on time, and check to see if you should take off your shoes. You should call in advance to see if they want you to bring a dish. Offer to help when they are setting up or cleaning. You should not discuss business matters at dinner.

Danes believe in proper table manners. You should wait to be seated, as the hosts may have designed a plan in advance. You should try everything you are offered, and expect to be offered second helpings (which you do not have to take up). You should finish all of your food, as Danes hate waste. When you complete your meal, you should put your fork down on your plate, with the tines up, and the handles to the right. Do not begin your meal until the host toasts with “Skol!” Raise your glass to your eye level, and look everyone in the eye who is seated near you.